Tutorial: Upcycling cereal boxes into carboard mailers

This is so easy I can't believe I haven't thought of this before.   It is brilliant if I do say so myself.  I wish I had thought of this when I was bothering with all of the promotions and whatnot to get a tiny bit of sales with my etsy shop.  Though they will be useful for the new printing run I'm doing of my Ted book.  Just in time for the season of gifting and shipping everything.  Either way I am super happy that I found such a great use for the waste from the grotesque amounts of cereal my children consume.   I will certainly never need to buy another small mailer again! 

 

See, totally easy!  I know I'm going to be using them from now on.  Are you?

my briliant anti-cold-cereal solution

You may have noticed previously my stark and vehement dislike of cold cereal.    But I seem to have come up with a quasi solution to my problem of too expensive, too soggy, too processed, too boring and not lasting until lunch; cereal complex.  One that I will even consent to consume, nay even enjoy.  (pause for actual cereal eating break... seriously, I just realized that this is JUST exactly what I want.  right now).  Now to continue with out spilling milk on the keyboard..  ahem.

Make your own.

No, not another sort of breakfast (though you know, that is good too, but tends to always dirty more dishes... so, you know, kind of evil... but we're not talking about dishes now, are we?)  But make your own cold cereal.  I've made granola before, and its fun for a bit, but really quite sweet and pretty heavy on the stomach.  By itself.  BUT of the few cereals that I eat voluntarily at all... they seem to have the 'bunches of oats' or 'oat clusters' in them, which duh, is granola.  Then they just add flakes and dried fruit or nuts.  Pretty simple.  I've been meaning to do it for a while to see how my homemade version worked out.  Then I finally did.  And it does.  So I'm breaking my blog silence by deciding not to be selfish with my self proclaimed profound discovery.

The instructions are actually pretty simple.

-make granola.  (easier than it sounds)  You do not need to be Crunchy to do so.  From my brief stint of habitation in Portland, I learned thus: apparently I'm only a wannabe hippie.  I had only deluded myself that I knew anything about true earth love.  And footprints of carbon.  They are professionals.  However, for this you do not need to be.

combine in saucepan and bring to a boil:

1/2 c. water,
1 1/2 c. brown sugar,
4 tsp. vanilla,
1 tsp. almond extract (optional) and
1 tsp. salt.

pour the hot syrupy stuff you just made over this in a big bowl:

8 c. oats,
1-2 c. coconut,
1-2 c. slivered almonds, or other nuts of your choice (cashews are heavenly).

Mix it all thoroughly and spread out onto a large cookie sheet.  Bake at 250 for a couple of hours, or 200 or lower all night.

Break up into small chunks and add dried fruit.  I prefer cranberries, though raisins are good as well.  I haven't tried dried bananas, but they might be tasty (especially the non freeze dried ones) or cherries.. anyway, that is what truly makes it taste good, so don't skimp on the dried fruit.  Then mix in a whole box of corn flakes.  (you could go all authentic and mix in different kinds of flakes, like bran flakes and some frosted flakes... but I just used corn flakes... I'm lazy like that.

It actually makes quite a bit of cereal.  So it lasts a while, and my cereal reserves (that I don't even eat!) don't get depleted quite so fast.  We've been going through cereal like its going out of style! 

Liam does his part with the rampant cereal consumption.

Disclaimer: It does get soggy rather fast.. (which I truly despise) so I have taken to eating very small quantities at a time, repeatedly until satisfied.  Example, pour half a cup of my granola/flakes into a wide mouthed vintage tea cup.  (note to self, good excuse to go thrift some more beauties).  Add milk.  Inhale.  Repeat 2-3 times.  We can pretend that I actually stop at 3.

On why I am not the world's biggest cold cereal fan

First, honestly, how can that much processed preservatives and fake chemical vitamins cemented together with glucose be good for you at all? I'm not normally of the ultra hippie, all organic persuasion either, but have you looked at the ingredient list for cereals? I'll bet half of the chemicals listed are banned by the TSA and are on the baggage confiscation list at airports as well as being known carcinogens according to the state of California.

Secondly, it never lasts me longer than an hour or two, before I'm way hungrier than I was before I consumed said 'breakfast'. Even when its NOT a sugar coated concoction of insulin inducing craziness. You'd think a whole grain based cereal wouldn't cause the same debilitating drop in blood sugar. But it does. For me. I might as well eat a candy bar with a multivitamin. It would last as long, taste a whole lot better, and probably be just as healthy.

Thirdly, its the equivalent of a culinary time bomb. You have 1.6 minutes to inhale your cereal before it becomes an unappetizing mass of lactose suspended gelatinous particles. Don't get me wrong, I consider myself in possession of slightly above average amounts of courage and toughness than is generally thought of for my sex, and I enjoy a bit of extreme sportiness. Just not in my morning repast.

Fourthly, In a Herculean effort to expand the cereals time sensitive aptitude for sogginess, they have created indigestible clumps of mouth destroying, mastication nightmares. You literally have to build up scar tissue on the roof of your mouth to protect against the onslaught of razor edged, diamond hard, vitamin enriched, dehydrated food particles. Honestly, its like war! And this new genetically enhanced cereal gives you a mere .259 minute time advantage before it also reverts to its atomic constituents more closely resembling decomposing swamp matter.

Fifthly (yeah, that's a mouthful of grammatical incorrectitude... however I'd rather be consistent... so bite me). I don't even like the taste of most cereals. Just not a big fan. There are a few I'll spring for on occasion when amnesia gets the better of me. My favorite being Cranberry Almond Crunch... but that whole box contains about 2.15 actual bowls of cereal and is priced as if gold plated. (and you STILL need to consume in small quantities in excess of land speed records to beat its time bomb/soggy factor)

..and lastly, I am a big fat hypocrite, because despite all of these factors, it is still way too fast, too easy and too convenient, and is the only proven way to ensure my kids get a modicum of calcium every day. Thus, despite my strong feelings to the contrary, my kids (though not me) consume it every morning almost without fail.

I HAVE strong opinions and principles. I just lack the motivation and will power to uphold them.