Wednesday, January 2, 2013

My schpeil on Parenting

(I found this complete yet unpublished post kicking around in my drafts.. it still applies, and even though it is filled with summer pictures.. whatever.  I'm posting it anyway..)

good thing that kids are so cute

Parenting is super hard.  And we're all at different places, and we all have different natural strengths (and weaknesses) as parents that we are usually pretty self-aware of.  And its a touchy button because it is such an important job.  But parents aren't SUPPOSED to be perfect.  Kids have been raised by imperfect mistake making parents since the dawn of time.  And that is okay.  We're all just trying to do our best, and give our kids less therapy fodder.  Kids don't need perfection in parents, they just need love.  Love is a great band-aid.   That is at least what I tell myself when I am feeling overwhelmed by my parental mistakes and inadequacies.    It will all work out, because as much as we are responsible for teaching them, we cannot and do not control them.  They are their own little beings of choice and personality and strengths and weaknesses of their own.   And there is no one exact right way to do it.  Because every individual is different, so they need different things.  That is why it is so hard.  It takes insane amounts of inspiration, mistakes, learning the hard way, and trying a million trillion different things to solve all of the million different things that come up.   

See, who needs water parks?

 I guess I've been thinking about it a lot lately.  That I feel inadequate because I tend to fall on the non-hovering side of the parental spectrum, in that I DON'T do enough activities and run around business that I see other people doing.  My kids don't have swimming lessons (though they want and need them) (but I have taught them some on my own..) or ballet, or soccer or guitar lessons, or go to theme parks or have lots of play dates or any other fancy schmancy and or busy thing.   I am a homebody, I like to be at home.  It exhausts me to run around in the car everywhere.  (It doesn't help that I don't have extra unspoken for money laying around and I'm kind of a tightwad anyway..)  And at home I don't hover and play and constantly read to and play with my kids and always involve them in educational and creative activities.  And while I think that too much of anything can be harmful (independent play, and imagination are important thing for them to learn too).  I also know that they could use a little more one on one time.  I spend too much time escaping to surf the internet, sometimes for legitimate reasons, sometimes just mindless escapism.  sigh.   Yeah.  Parenting is a massive guilt button.  Wherever on the spectrum you fall.  It is really hard not to judge others OR yourself too harshly. 
good thing kids are pretty quick to forgive